Archive for February, 2007

Update on my organism

I think I am dying.  I really do.  Well not really. But it hurts a lot.  I’m going to try to get into doctor tomorrow.  People have suggested the ER.  I’m a McAlpine.  We don’t do the ER.  One time my brother broke both his arms and my mom didn’t believe him, so he had to sit all night with frozen brocolli on his arms.  He started crying the next day, so finally we took him to the doctor.  Really, with 5 kids, all of whom have been a little reckless, you’d think there would have been at least one visit.  But no.  We’re tough.  We don’t do ER’s.

On a different note, the BBC just interviewed a guy in Sarajevo that I played volleyball with every week.  I don’t know that that’s  too cool as the interview was about how BiH just got totally hosed.  I feel like Bosnia has become something similar to the kid growing up in the projects.  Some folks tell them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, move on, work hard and make something of themselves.  In reality, they never experienced anything but corruption or war.  I guess you could say the were shining in the 70 and 80’s, but that was like a drug enduced high, followed by a major hangover.  Anyway, my point is that you can’t look at a kid in the projects and without equipping him, tell him to succeed.  At the same time, you can’t take a broken, corrupt nation and not only tell them to succed but also tell them that their greatest tradgedy just happened and that there’s no one at fault.  Kids in the projects get hosed by the system.  Victims of war crimes, well, I’m not real sure what they get hosed by other than a bunch of hoity toity diplomats whose hearts are clearly not engaged in what they do for a living.  To everyone at the Hague: get a heart; quit screwing people over in the name of your jacked up idea of diplomacy.

That’s all.  Now I will lay in my bed and watch Will and Grace.  And hold my stomach becaust it really hurts a lot.


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Cruel jokes

So…I was fortunate enough to experience a full 24 hours of relative health.  My voice still sounds a little wonky, but oh well.  I wish it was a cool sexy smokers voice, but, well, anyway…

Back to the point.  I’m sick again.  My stomach hurts so bad I want to curl into a ball and die.  And I’m done playing nice.  i.e. I’m out of pepto.  Now I’m going to fight fire with fire.  Back to every bad decision that’s ever caused me to be sick, starting on the healthiest rung of the ladder – spicy Indian food.  If that doesn’t chase out what ails me, I’m not sure what will.

The doctor probably has some good ideas.  Like say, Nexium.  But at $110 a bottle, I think I take it my route first.

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On being ill…

I got a nasty case of stomach flu during the US Open when I was living in Sarajevo.  Besides that, the only reasons I’ve thrown up since grade school have been directly related to my own bad decisions.

Now as you deal with that TMI of the day, please feel sorry for me.  I am in the midst of my SECOND round of stomach flu for 2007.  I hate it.

If praying is something you consider a habit, I’d really appreciate your prayers (or well wishes) for quick healing and lifted spirits.  It’s the kind of thing where you’ve just got enough other stress and drama and things to do that being sick on top of it is way too much to take.  It makes me want to cry.

And now I will return to the  prone position as sitting or standing for too long is, well, a bad decision for today.

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Go Balkans! (act II)

This one goes out to Croatia.  Seriously, how can you not love the former-Yugoslavia.  They completely kill me.

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Real Random

  • I am addicted to the Disney show “Hannah Montana.”  Why?  I have no idea.
  • A squirrel was in the dumpster this morning and I tried to direct it out for 5 minutes. He wouldn’t listen.  Finally a guy came walking by and I made him get it out so I could put my trash in.  That’s what manly men are for.
  • Went to the “Vagina Monologues” last night.  I would highly recommend it, especially as a mother/daughter date for daughters 14 and up.  Of course, if the mother is too chicken to engage in dialogue with the daughter after the fact, then I wouldn’t recommend going.
  • The guy that sits next to me in Greek had a major sneezing fit during class.  It was driving me crazy.  Then he let one go that you could totally tell was a big nasty wet sneeze.  I gagged.  Then I realized than I didn’t have any kleenex to offer and it didn’t appear that he had any of his own.  I watched as he slowly moved his hands down from his nose and tried to take a casual peak at them.  Yucky.  Then he slowly lowered his hands to his lap.  I had to stop looking.  I didn’t want to know where he was going to wipe his hands.  Later on in class I just happened to be looking down and caught a glimpse of the back of his pant leg.  Covered in snot.  I convulsed.  I dry heaved.  For the love of Pete, why did he not just get up and wash his hands????
  • Today is the 25th straight day that we’ve had snow here in Western Michigan.
  • Last night was the 37th straight night that at least a portion of my dreams have been in Bosnian.
  • I think for my own sanity, today will be the last day that I keep track of the dreams and the snow.

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Bambi in the Bedroom

Sometimes I can be pretty naughty. I can get a little mischievous every now and then. Usually I end up getting a good chuckle from people. Or losing friends. Who cares as long as I get a kick out of it?!

See if you can spot my mischievousness.

I acquired Bambi from my mentor and her husband. I brought it home tonight while my roommate was at work. She usually comes home pretty late on the weekend, so I am curious to see how long it takes her to notice the surprise I put in her room. He’s kind of off in the corner, but he’s also staring directly at her bed, so we’ll just have to wait and see. I can totally see her not seeing it until tomorrow afternoon. Hee hee. I can’t wait!!!

Wanna make any bets on how long it will take? Or on whether or not she’ll hurt me, cuss at me or both?

UPDATE:  She went out with friends after work last night and then came home around 1:00 a.m.  She was changing and picking up her room for half an hour before she saw it.  We spent some time laughing hysterically.  She promptly called her boyfriend and accused him, saying “You know what you did.  I know darn well this thing in my bedroom belongs to you.”  Oh, it was priceless.  She still doesn’t know it was me.  We’ve been plotting ways to hang it up in the chapel and the seminary.  I wonder how long it will take before she figures out that I was the culprit?!

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Because the last post made zero sense

Here’s how the conversation went:

GUY: I think the concept of a Protestant work ethic would be very appealing to a capitalist society

ME: Nooooooooo way!  Socialists don’t have a work ethic, let alone a hardcore Protestant one!!

GUY (and others by now):  but socialists have to work hard because they share everything and do everything together

ME: um, no, the gov’t does everything for them and they get paid whether they work hard or not

GUY:  I’m just saying that in theory, the two ideas would be compatible

ME: But in real life, they’re not, so whether or not they fit in theory is irrelevant

OTHER guy: But socialism is different from socialists.  On paper socialism works.  It may or may not work in real life.  And if what’s on paper doesn’t work in real life, I say there’s something wrong with your paper.

ME: (trying to figure what that actually meant)  Well, maybe we’re not talking about the same things.  I didn’t mean to pounce on your comments.  I just tend to focus mostly on real life stuff and very little on theory.

And then I got called a capitalist all day.  Which is far from the truth of it all.  I just don’t think the Protestant work ethic and socialism are synonymous.

Maybe in my head I think socialism and communism are totally synonymous and that it’s really communism that the Protestant work ethic doesn’t jive with.

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